Sister Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection

protector of truth. slayer of darkness. skunk.

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:36:32 -0500

Female, Liberal, and Armed -or- SAY HELLO TO THE BOOMSTICK

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0500

I am sorely tempted to show up outside one of these idiotic “town hall” meetings with my firearm, wearing a cute skirt and an Obama ‘08 button. Female, liberal, gun owner—I can hear the gears grinding and pinging in their tiny Rethug brains already.

I never thought I would own a gun, but right now I live in out in the country by myself, and this spring I acquired a sociopath neighbor, whose proximity would make ANYONE rethink their position on the right to bear arms.

My therapist had been encouraging me to buy a shotgun for years, because he didn’t like my living out here without some form of protection. (You KNOW you are doing okay, mental-health-wise, when your therapist is urging you to buy a gun.) So now my home security system is loaded and under the bed, just as my father’s was when I was growing up.

My shotgun is a .410 NEF Pardner (youth model, because my arms are not that long). When I went to pick it up from Hunter’s Hollow in Oxford, I was surprised by what an attractive object it actually is, with its dark wood stock and graceful lines.

You can snicker at its small size, but loaded with 000 buckshot, it should serve my needs just fine, unless wild elephants overrun Mississippi. (“Pretty lethal!” said my therapist gleefully.)

When I first brought the Pardner home, my main concern was not to become a FARK headline by Darwinning myself with it. It was the first gun I’d touched in my life, except for Dad’s, which I discovered under the bed while looking for the kitty (OOPS COLD METAL NOT KITTY). Now I’m comfortable with it being here, know how to handle it, and am not scared of it.

I wouldn’t think much about people bringing a Pardner or another shotgun to a public event … these are sporting guns which do double duty for home defense. But when someone brings an AR-15 or some other gun expressly meant to MAKE HOLES IN LOTS OF PEOPLE, FAST—well, I have a problem with that. Let me tell you, the authors of the Bill of Rights were NOT talking about f**king AR-15s when they drafted the Second Amendment. They had guns like my little Pardner—single shot, so it had best be a well-aimed one.

I’d write more, but it’d turn into a rant, and I don’t want to go there today. Still the temptation to attend one of those meetings is great. It might be almost as much fun as it was to go up to the Westboro Baptist Church bigots in New Orleans and say, “God must love gay people, She made so many of them!”

That horrible grinding sound? It’s a paradigm shifting without a clutch.

Sometimes he goes by “Socks”—celebrating a...

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:35:00 -0500

Sometimes he goes by “Socks”—celebrating a million followers on Twitter! >^.^<

LOLsome Caturday . . .

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:39:00 -0500

LOLsome Caturday . . .:

25 Random Things About Me

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 01:03:00 -0500

From the Facebook meme of the same name:

1. I’ve been on the wrong end of a lightning bolt.
2. I’ve hated celery since I was little, but will gag it down to be polite. (Please cook it to death for me, kthx)
3. I bought my first car when I was thirty-eight years old.
4. I was the spelling champion of my school and my entire school system for two years running, when I was twelve and thirteen years old.
5. I’m a natural born speed-reader.
6. I need eight hours of sleep every night.
7. I’ve been tear-gassed.
8. I love cats but can’t own one because I’m allergic. I want a Siberian cat because apparently they make much less allergen than regular kittehs.
9. I receive cards and presents from other people’s cats.
10. Jesse Jackson once bearhugged me.
11. I’m afraid to fly but I do it anyway now.
12. I speak really good LOLcat.
13. I once was chased for several blocks by policemen in East Berlin, but managed to elude them.
14. I can cook a mean pot of gumbo or jambalaya. Chana masala, too.
15. I need a lot of quiet time.
16. I make almost all my Christmas gifts every year.
17. I have a weird but mostly harmless heart murmur that the doctor found just a few years ago.
18. My mother’s half Irish, so I’m 1/4th.
19. Yes, I love technology,
But not as much as you, you see.
But still, I love technology,
Always and forever.
20. If you know where #19 comes from, we will probably get along.
21. I am working on a novel.
22. I read myself to sleep every night.
23. My first celebrity crush was Burt Ward (who played Robin on the Batman TV series) when I was five.
24. I watch only public television.
25. I feel egotistical when I talk about myself this much!

The last thing you said to your cat: Survey on TotalFARK

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 13:45:00 -0600

Goddammit Gilbert get OFF ME.

“In or out, you retard. Make up your mind.”

“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

“See, the problem is that you forgot to include the added weight of the fuel itself, which is why your rocket isn’t doing what you want.”

“Lamar, really… what is it about a hot cup of coffee that attracts you and FORCES you to pace back and forth past it, pausing, of course, with your HAIRY BUTT so close to the cup? Eh? What? You think I NEED catbutt-hair in my coffee? You think Coffeemate and Sweet & Low just aren’t enough?

NO KITTY IT’S MY POT PIE!

Is this thing on?

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 12:26:00 -0600

In which I discover Photo Booth on the Mac:

"I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I JUMP THE SHARK because I will be eating that sucker FOR WEEKS"

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 12:11:00 -0600

“I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL I JUMP THE SHARK because I will be eating that sucker FOR WEEKS”

- Sockington

Song for the New Year—“Don’t Change” by...

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 12:05:00 -0600

Song for the New Year—“Don’t Change” by INXS

Jobs you don't want

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:59:00 -0600

^^clicky for bigger, more hissing

STFU-or-start-paying-taxes trifecta complete

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:27:00 -0600

Asshats.

Why we order the turkey from Acquistapace's

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 09:46:00 -0600

^^clicky for how not to blow yourself up on Thanksgiving

divamama's Cajun fried turkey recipe

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 09:44:00 -0600

Call Acquistapace’s
Order turkey
Pick up turkey day before Thanksgiving
NOM NOM NOM

I don't know why this cracks me up so much--

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:08:15 -0600

—oh, wait. Yes, I do. Because I’m easily amused.

Awesome time sink

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:55:00 -0600

Awesome time sink:

Google image search + Life magazine photo archive = WIN

STFU or start paying taxes, part deux

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:40:00 -0600

At this point I’ll just be happy with the STFU part. Where were the emotions of disgust and outrage and the public statements when Bush and his cronies caused the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis? Oh, right, if you’re already born and a heathen, then I suppose you don’t count. Wankers.

Kitteh vs. Printer in the Battle of the Century! (Version...

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 19:55:00 -0600

Kitteh vs. Printer in the Battle of the Century! (Version without captions or sound effects.)

Caturday again so soon

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:30:00 -0600

(Clicky pic for a surfeit of LOLcats)

STFU or give up the tax exemption

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:21:00 -0600

This priest can kiss my church-and-state-separatin’ ass.

I heart Sockington!

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:19:00 -0600

I heart Sockington!:

He reminds me of archy and mehitabel. Go read.